A Shift, In Haiku

Your Audi: totalled.
My IV: A bloody mess.
Bad day for us both.

* * * * *

First radiation,
Then dizzy, fall, cut your head.
Cancer is bad news.

* * * * *

Too drunk to stand up?
But you don't want medic help.
Go in handcuffs, then.

* * * * *

You said it's asthma.
But we can tell the diff'rence.
What a drama queen.

With apologies to the inventors of the art form, and thanks to EMS Haiku for the inspiration to describe my day like this.